MJ (are you smiling?) posted about our need, as women, to reverse the trend, to compliment ourselves and our friends. Although it rang true to me then, but for some reason it didn’t completely resonate. I’m not sure why. Then I read Haley’s post, and then I reread MJ’s post, and thought, why not me? So here I am.
I make my life work and I like it, and I’m doing a good job of it. I don’t stay at home all day and Beau goes to day care (affectionately called baby school) and I love it. I don’t necessarily love being away from him, but I love how we are when we’re together. I go to work, do my adult thing, he goes to school, does his toddler thing, playing with Devon and Francisco, being doted on by Miss Esperanza, and then we join forces again at 3:15 and we are so much better for it. I couldn’t be a stay at home mom without needing years and years of therapy. I don’t have it in me. I’m okay with it. I can’t guarantee that toys aren’t strewn all over the living room, or that the sink isn’t holding a few dishes, or that there is something that needs washed, but I just don’t care. And I don’t think Beau is lacking anything at all and I don’t doubt my parenting. I know this wouldn’t work for everyone, and that’s okay too. If you are able to stay at home and choose to do so, more power to you. We all march to a different beat. I’m not perfect. I can’t do it all. But I do what I can, and I make sure that what is important to me gets done. I’m done comparing myself to the perfect women in the magazines, because I’ll never be them. I’ll never have the perfect make-believe Real Simple life, with a little Cosmo thrown in for spice. I’m not beating myself up for not being June Cleaver. I’m happy with what I’ve created. Every night brings hot dinner on the table, or maybe a pizza from our local place, playing with gobs of toys, dancing to music, and quality time together. The next morning we go off to our activities to meet again in the afternoon and repeat it all over. And it works. And, so to myself I say You’ve made a good life. Good deal.
Many of you know Holli, but in case you don’t, she’s the sweetest. She is always there to lend an ear, give advice, and generally help you through any troubles you may be having. If you need to talk, Holli’s the one to go to. She’s sweet, but she’s not fake, and she’s not a push-over, and she’s a Californian to boot.
Marie says
Lizzi–I’m with you. It’s good that I go to work every day. It makes me a better mom. All power to both of us for recognizing that in ourselves!! I’m sure our boys will thank us for that someday. And if we didn’t leave them each day, we wouldn’t have such sweet homecomings, would we? Those are the highlights of my days!
Haley says
Yay! Im excited you are doing this as well…didn’t you instantly feel great! I love it!
Holli says
Wow. Lizzi. Thank you! Really, honestly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so sweet.
I’ve always believed that when you have kids you have to find what works best for you and for them. Its no one else’s life but yours and so live it the way that you need to. That’s what I tell my friends who have become moms. I tell them to find the schedule that allows them to be the best parent they can be and screw everyone else and their “perfect” schedule. Who says its perfect for YOU?
🙂
M.J. says
I’m glad you’re doing this!
So many people get caught up in superficial desires and take the the things they do have for granted. It’s great that you can appreciate and be proud of the life you’ve built for your self and your family.
Also, I can’t wait to check Holli out at Three Wishes, she sounds wonderful!
M.J. says
Oh, and yes, seeing my new nick name did make me smile! =0
Jo says
This is a fabulous post and I’m going to so the same over at mine! I think it’s a great trend to jump on the band wagon for!